Time Elapsed A new separation is clearly more undefined.Committed couples often hit major snags in a relationship and lose each other for a period of time.If our heart is not there — if our soul is not already safe through faith, if our mind is distracted and focused on other, lesser things, if our best strength is being spent on the things of this world — jobs, sports, shopping, entertainment, relationships, and on God — we simply will not date well. Listen to Jesus, and “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Seek him first (Matthew ), and dating will be added according to his perfect plan and timing. It’s not the first rule, but I have found that it is a “golden rule” that most often makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy Christian dating relationships.But after embracing and applying the first and greatest commandment, I have found that the . If you’re not a Christian — if you haven’t dealt with God before trying to date — you don’t have a chance of having a truly healthy Christian relationship with someone else.I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.We’re often scared (even if nothing has actually happened yet with a particular person) that we may be letting our last chance or even best chance saloon slip away.We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.
(The article focuses on marriages, but I think it applies just as well to any committed relationship.) Rather than a preliminary step to the foregone conclusion of divorce, these temporary separations, planned out carefully between partners for a predetermined length of time and with guidelines regarding finances and child care, provide a cooling-off period with the added benefit of allowing the partners to see what life will be like without each other.One Lord, one faith, one baptism — and a billion different dating tips.The first rule in dating is the first rule in all of life: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark ).In particular I'm thinking of Ross's meticulously crafted defense of "we were on a temporary separation.There are several reasons that the issue of dating during a temporary separation is so "fraught." As Ms.Floppy relationship triangles are essentially unstable and the outcomes are not only unpredictable, but often dire.